Trusting: The Essential Prerequisite for Transcending Our Individualities
Bas Jan Ader launching himself for his performance In Search of the Miraculous in August 1975. When Trusting is pushed to its extreme.
Setting sail is to venture into a hostile environment where the risk at hand is death. Unless one is reckless, without trust, they remain on land.
Water, salt, sun, lack of food... While the sea is the cradle of life, it must be acknowledged that we are no longer naturally equipped to traverse it. The only way to navigate it is through the combination of a mobile shelter (a boat) and a healthy dose of trust that we will reach the other side.
Trust is essential for taking the plunge.
Trust in our own abilities: I have the knowledge to navigate this environment and the capacity to adapt and react to the unexpected.
Trust in our equipment: The boat is suitable for the navigation endeavor, well-maintained, and I am familiar with its operation.
And finally, trust in those with whom we embark: These individuals, sometimes strangers, with whom I confine myself in the vastness of the ocean, will become my sole companions in this adventure.
Despite all the preparation, certain variables (especially human and meteorological) remain unknowns. Trust cannot be built over time, supported by a multitude of evidence drawn from experience.
At that moment, in order to dare to go, trust must be given.
Setting sail becomes an "act of faith": we go because we believe in it despite the unknown.
This is the difference between Being confident, an esteem acquired over time, and Trusting, venturing into the unknown with optimism.
And it is because setting sail requires trusting others and having them reciprocate that we experience such intense moments, forge strong bonds, and achieve collective accomplishments that surpass expectations. Let me explain.
If trust is both a methodical construction and a letting go, it takes two forms whose combinations give it its richness.
What is trust?
1) Being confident means knowing that the other person will honor their commitment.
The first form is the most obvious: I believe that the Other will do what they say. They claim to have the skills, time, and necessary disposition to successfully carry out a specific task, and I trust them. I rely on them.
On the other hand, if I want to create and maintain trust, it requires me to be honest about my abilities—I will not promise what I do not feel capable of accomplishing—and to demonstrate tenacity in fulfilling my commitments despite the difficulties that may arise.
I know what I'm doing, and I will do everything in my power to succeed.
2) Trusting means knowing that the other person will support me in difficult times, and that I will do the same.
The second form of trust is more challenging to achieve because it is intimate and goes against our usual ways of functioning: I have weaknesses, but I embrace them because the Other will be by my side when they are exposed.
In a competitive environment where everyone is vying against each other—which is often the case in the competitive world of businesses—this trust cannot develop. Everyone hides their flaws and acts in their own self-interest to avoid the risk of exposing them. But sometimes, an unforeseen situation, a moment of festive relaxation, or a lapse due to fatigue will reveal what we often seek to conceal.
At that moment, the Other has two possibilities: either they attack us where our defenses have a flaw, or they also drop the mask by revealing their own weaknesses and become an ally.
We each have our own experiences, strengths, weaknesses, skills, qualities, and flaws. One person may be strong where another is weaker, but when we collaborate, the strength of one becomes the strength of the group, and what we perceived as weaknesses actually present opportunities.
Our vulnerabilities are in fact the seeds of our greatest strengths. To consider our "weaknesses" is to consider the particularities that make up our personalities. And accepting them enables us to strengthen them and become stronger ourselves.
By opening up to our team members, we don't put ourselves at odds with each other. By revealing ourselves, we reveal our strengths and, in mirror image, identify the areas where the group needs to strengthen. This in turn enables us to improve our organization.
Sharing personal stories is also to show our peers that we are not perfect. We're human, we're empathetic, and we can build a relationship of trust with each other.
When this trust emerges, we sincerely reveal ourselves, and we can complement each other by creating a collective that is stronger than the sum of our individualities.
This deeply personal trust will also lead us to commit more, to surpass our apprehensions, and to fully participate in the supporting collective.
I accept who I am, and I genuinely serve the collective.
In summary, trust is both constructed and given by keeping promises and accepting weaknesses.
How can this trust be created?
The best way to quickly build trust among the members of our team is to:
demonstrate through experience that they have good reasons to trust us (and it is to provide you with a concentrated experience that Zomia takes you on a sailboat),
start by revealing our own weaknesses so that they trust us (the boat, as a destabilizing environment far from the office, initiates new, more sincere interactions).
By setting sail, we cannot solely Have trust; we must Trust. And it's a gamble!
Trusting means putting our vulnerability in the hands of the Other, displaying a naive optimism in the hope that they will not take advantage of us. It's taking a step towards the Other, hoping that our species' innate empathy will compel them to do the same.
Trusting is bringing the Other to Have trust.
And then, everything becomes possible...